The Netherlands may have given us sexy football, a relaxed attitude to cannabis and some rather attractive blonde boys, but they failed dismally with their particular brand of 90s europop.

Remember “We’re Going to Ibiza”, “Shalala Lala”, “We Like To Party”? The smiley Dutch funbus never stopped! Well actually it did, in 2001, and the world of pop music was suddenly a better place.

But now, nine years later, we have comeback single “Rocket to Uranus”, featuring Pete Burns and Perez Hilton. No, REALLY.

The video portrays the group flying to your anus (well I might as well say it) through some sort of Mars Attacks influenced universe. Health warning – male genitalia related puns abound.

Need anything else to put you off? Pete Burns pilots the “Fisto 3000″ ship, one of the camp spacemen declares “Uranus is so pretty, it feels like home” and Pete’s head explodes due to his hatred of *cough* happy music *cough*

The video reminds me of a party I went to once, where everyone was forced to look like they were having fun. You know the kind. A themed fancy dress party where everyone walks around with enormous smiles on their faces. Look at us, we’re all dressed up like aliens and having a great time! How much fun is this! Then everyone goes home and cries into their pillows.

If I were the Dutch, I’d stick to playing football. Has anyone told them there’s a World Cup starting this week?